Contractor Ghosting Bingo: Our Favorite New European Pastime

Apologies for the lag between blogs. I know, I know.  My silence was deafening, but this spring has been quiet. So quiet, in fact, that the biggest news is that we are settling into our new house. Alex is conquering the world of extracurricular cross country, which, tragically, involves no actual competitions. So, the drama has been strictly non-competitive, until you look at our home repair list.

Which brings me to another cherished aspect of life here: the Dutch Contractor Experience. After 20 months in the Netherlands, tackling projects from a landscape redesign to battling a non-functioning heat pump, I am now an officially certified expert on how contractors here...don't...work. Consider this my public service announcement.

Exhibit A: The Case of the Vanishing Plumber

We had a pair of small leaking pipes. A neighbor, bless their naive heart, recommended a plumber.

The first appointment for an estimate was scheduled for the highly convenient, totally normal hour of 8:00 PM on January 7th. January 7th came and....went. After a gentle nudge the next day, he resurfaced a week later, citing an unscheduled 'busy' period. Undeterred, he offered a second attempt: February 5th, also at 8:00 PM.

And dear reader, he came! PROGRESS! We showed him the leaky culprits. He nodded sagely and promised the most legendary document of all: The Quote. Since then, despite me reaching out multiple times, that quote has maintained its mythical status and has not materialized. I’m now convinced 'The Quote' is Dutch for “Dream on silly American”.

Exhibit B: The Flash of the Siding Man

Another friend had an appointment for a siding replacement. A contractor came on a Friday, surveyed the job, and then assured her he’d be back the following Monday to do the work. It was the fastest proposal-to-start-date I’ve ever witnessed. Naturally, Monday arrived, the contractor did not, and all subsequent calls have entered a cosmic black hole.

If you're thinking this is a one-off issue, allow me to present my Contractor Ghosting Bingo Card, featuring all the projects that have met this fate:

• Cracked glass replacement (adds a rustic vibe)

• Getting access to our Tesla power wall (because who needs power, right?)

• Heat pump repair 

• Fixing the table that was tragically broken in the move

• Repairing some non-functioning electrical outlets

• Mortar repair

• And several other things I have blacked out from my memory for self-preservation

Exhibit C: The Manpower-Only Painter

Another friend hired a painter for her apartment. He showed up, agreed to the job, and then explained the service package: He and his crew would provide the manpower. That's it. My friend was responsible for buying all the materials and tools. Yes, you read that right. He was basically a human paintbrush holder who required her to provide the brush.

What drives this phenomena? We're all expats, so maybe they just don't like working with us. But the real theory is that the construction industry here is so jammed that these folks have reached rock-star status. They are artisanal job-curators, picking and choosing based on who pays more, and ditching the rest with zero concern for future reviews. Why worry about losing work when the demand is this high?

Back in the US, we’d have a scheduling hiccup now and then, but not at this frequency. I’m starting to suspect that we were somehow accidentally members of a secret, Reliable US Contractor Network, and we failed to upgrade to the international tier before moving.

On a genuinely brighter note, our garden (or 'landscaping' for the Americans in the audience) is almost finished. And we have our very first, highly reliable, non-ghosting daffodil! We’ll give you a full tour in an upcoming post. Assuming, of course, we aren’t waiting around for a contractor.

Our first flower!